Thursday, March 29, 2007

¡Salieron los Azafranes!

The crocuses are up! Spring has officially arrived and I am smiling. No hay ni una nube en el cielo, el Sol está fuerte, fuerte, fuerte, me sigue dóndequiera que yo vaya, siento su calor, su belleza, su cariño y su amor, sé que me quiere, ah, mi Sol, my precious Sun, how wonderful you are, how you fill me with such happiness when you are shining, how your rays embrace me and warm me hasta los huesos, to the bone. You are my life, you are my inspiration.
You have melted the snow, mi querido Sol, estoy pisando pasto otra vez, un poco mojado y esponjoso, pero tratando de regresar a su color verde de primavera, se siente maravilloso pisar la tierra de nuevo. Ya regresó mi laberinto, todavía está claro, the white lines strong and bright, when I finish writing this, I will go outside and walk, skip and dance my beautiful labryinth, knowing all the time that mi querido Sol está conmigo, siguiendo mis pasos en cada uno de mis brincos, en cada giro de mi cuerpo y también en mis "radiantes pensamientos."

Hablando de "radiantes pensamientos," ayer me encontré en una lonchería comiendo un sándwich antes de ir a dar otra clase y estaba leyendo mi libro I Am That, por un señor de la India con un nombre que no puedo pronunciar. (No me preguntes qué quiere decir el título). Please don't ask me what the title means, it's so simple that it's complicated. So, there I am, sitting alone surrounded by mothers and babies, reading my book, catching bits and pieces of conversation, trying not to listen to individual words but rather to white noise, and I realize that "I am," and "everything is" and that's it.

I can hear you thinking: "Yeah, so what?" "¿Y qué?" I'll tell you what the "y qué" is all about. For the first time that I can recall, I was not judging. I did not judge anything. Let me state this again. I DID NOT JUDGE ANYTHING. Okay, maybe it was half an hour or forty-five minutes without judging. Usually, I'm always judging. Por ejemplo, Ay, qué frío hace, esa persona está pasada de peso, por qué este joven se pone el arete en el labio, me da la piel de gallina, etc. etc. qué feo esto, qué feo el otro....y más. Does this sound familiar? I'm not the only person who does this am I? Well, I don't know if it was because I was reading this particular book, but I noticed I was just sitting there in a room with a lot of people I didn't know and I had no judgement about any of them. The babies cried, that's what babies do, people were talking and I had no thought about it. Everything just was what it was. Todo es lo que es...y punto.

It was an interesting feeling because I was so calm and neutral. I think I was just in the moment, not thinking about the past, not worried about the future, simplemente sentada en un lugar, existiendo, just being...for awhile. Wow! ¡Vaya!

What's the point today?

No sé.

Does there have to be a point?

Quién sabe.

Maybe I'll go visit the labyrinth and be there.

Mmmmmm.

No estoy sola, porque mi querido Sol está conmigo.

It's Spring, time to clear out old thoughts
and make room for new ones.

Soy Lorena.
3/29/07

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