La mujer abrió la puerta a la frescura del atardecer. Todavía brillaba el sol en el oeste y ella quería estar afuera mientras anochecía, sin estar apresurada por las tareas que no había terminado. Respiró profundo y se sentó en la silla del porche. Los eventos del día le llegaron a la mente despiadadamente, recordándola de las llamadas telefónicas de larga distancia que había hecho, los correos electrónicos que había contestado, las cartas urgentes que tenía que escribir, los mensajes de su celular sin contestar, el almuerzo con su jefe cuando por accidente tiró un vaso de agua sobre los papeles y le tocó reimprimirlos cuando regresaron a la oficina.
Estaba cansada. Quería escuchar los pájaros cantar pero su mente no la dejaba, tan llena de los quehaceres de mañana. Le decía --mañana no te olvides a...acuérdate de...y después tienes que...
¿Por qué tanto trabajo? ¿Por qué tanto estrés? Trató de dejar su mente andar por una temporada más tranquila, una temporada cuando la vida no iba tan rápida, tan apurada, cuando le daba tiempo de pensar en un futuro placentero, tiempo de pasear por el bosque...--el bosque, hace años que no camino en el bosque,--pensó. --Ahora no hay tiempo, parece que no hay tiempo para nada bonito y tranquilo.
Su mente repasaba las escenas del día como película del cine pero sin sacar los descartes. El verdadero mundo. Es un buen trabajo, le dijeron sus amigos de la universidad, no a todos nos ofrecen un puesto así al terminar los estudios. Hay que aprovecharlo. Pues, lo aprovechó. Siete años después se sentía agotada.
El olor de las lilas le llamó de repente y quitándose los zapatos se levantó a caminar descalza en el pasto, a sentir la tierra bajo sus pies, a disfrutar de la tierra firme, tibia, a dejarla absorber sus preocupaciones por un momento. --O, Tierra, pensó, sé que soy parte de ti, te necesito para vivir, me das alimento, quiero que me llenes de paz, pero algo me falta. Siento demasiado separada de ti, vivo una vida lejos de ti, mi Tierra, lejos de tus bosques, del calor de tus brisas, de las aguas de tus arroyos serpentinos. No sé qué hacer.
Regresó al porche y se sentó en la silla de nuevo con un suspiro. Cerró los ojos y pronto se durmió. Empezó a soñar. Soñó que estaba flotando en el aire cerca de las nubes. Al principio le daba miedo, pero se dio cuenta que no se iba a caer porque había algo sosteniéndola. Eran alas blancas, alas grandes, enormes, no solamente alas, sino eran ángeles, bellos ángeles con alas suaves y fuertes y reconfortantes. La sensación de flotar duró poco tiempo. De repente se encontró en tierra firme. Los ángeles ya no estaban. Sintió algo extraño en el pecho y cuando miró, vio que se abría como cascarón de huevo. Salió una paloma blanca y se fue volando arriba. Después salió otra paloma y otra y otra y seguían saliendo mientras ella veía todo esto como si fuera lo más normal. Entonces, unas flores empezaron a salir de su pecho, flores de todos colores, toda clase de flores, rosas, tulipanes, lilias, narcisos. Durante este fenómeno, ella se sonreía adivinando que más le iba a salir del pecho, o tal vez de su corazón. Luego salieron unos corazoncitos rojos y unos cupidos volando en frente de sus ojos y eso le dio mucha risa. Se reía muchísimo cuando se despertó con la risa todavía en el cuerpo.
Era de noche y la primera estrella ya había salido.
--¿Qué debo hacer?--preguntó al cielo.
AND THE QUESTION IS...
The woman opened the door to the freshness of the afternoon. The sun was still shining in the west and she wanted to be outside while it got dark, without being pressured by errands she had not finished. She breathed deeply and sat down in the chair on the porch. The events of the day came into her mind mercilessly, reminding her of the long distance telephone calls she had made, the emails that she had answered, the urgent letters that she had to write, the cell phone messages she hadn't responded to, the lunch with her boss when she accidentally knocked over a glass of water on the papers which she then had to reprint once they got back to the office.
She was tired. She wanted to listen to the birds sing, but her mind wouldn't let her, so full it was of what needed to be done tomorrow. It would tell her "Tomorrow, don't forget to...remember to do...and then you have to..." Why so much work? Why so much stress? She tried to allow her mind to wander to a quieter time, a time when life was not so hectic, so rushed, when she had time to think about a pleasant future, time to walk in the woods..."The woods, I haven't walked in the woods for years," she thought. "Now, there's no time, it seems like there's no time for anything beautiful and soothing."
Her mind reviewed the scenes from the day like a movie that had not deleted the out-takes. The real world. It's a good job her friends from college had told her, not everyone is offered a position right when you finish your studies. You should take advantage of the opportunity. So, she took advantage of it. Seven years later she felt drained.
She noticed the scent of the lilacs suddenly and taking off her shoes got up to walk barefoot on the grass, to feel the earth beneath her feet, to enjoy the firm, warm ground, to let it absorb her worries for a moment. "Oh, Earth," she thought, "I know I am part of you, I need you to live, you feed me, I want you to fill me with peace, but something's missing. I feel too separate from you, I am living a life far from you, my Earth, far from your woods, from the warmth of your breezes, from the waters of your twisting streams. I don't know what to do."
She went back to the porch and sat down on the chair again with a sigh. She closed her eyes and soon was asleep. She began to dream. She dreamed that she was floating in the air near the clouds. At first she was afraid, but then she realized that she was not going to fall because something was holding her up. It was white wings, big wings, enormous, not just wings but there were angels, beautiful angels with soft, strong and comforting wings. The sensation of floating only lasted a short time. Suddenly she found herself on solid ground. The angels were no longer there. She felt something strange in her chest and when she looked, she saw that it was opening up like the shell of an egg. A white dove emerged and flew away up high. Then another white dove emerged and another and another and they kept on emerging while she watched all of this as if it were the most normal thing. Then flowers began to come out of her chest, flowers of every color, all kinds of flowers, roses, tulips, lilies, daffodils. During this phenomenon she was smiling and guessing what else would emerge from her chest, or maybe it was from her heart. Finally, little red hearts emerged and cupids flying in front of her eyes and that was very funny. She laughed and laughed and was still laughing when she woke up with the laugher still in her body.
It was nighttime and the first star had appeared.
"What should I do?" she asked the sky.
Soy Lorena.
5/26/07
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1 comment:
This is getting very intricate and complex. I didn't expect the story to pick up years later, and I have no idea what will happen next. I can relate to what the character is thinking. It's a very human experience.
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