Crepúsculo

It is late afternoon in November and the sun is setting, las sombras de los árboles se estiran por la tierra y me tocan suavamente. I lean against this delicate tree near our brook and wonder about so many things. Está terminando el día, pronto vendrá la noche, primero el crepúsculo, first the dusk sneaks its way into my world and then de repente Night falls y empiezo mi vida de noche, subo la calefacción, prendo las luces, check my email, I slow down, search for warmth in the words of mis amigos o mi familia. A phone call from my daughter, a hug from Teddy and life moves on in its never-ending circle.

¿Adónde van los días? Parecen derretirse en la nada, se va el sol o la Tierra se da la vuelta más bien, y la noche permanece un buen rato. The yin and yang of this Universe is ever-present, seems to be carrying me along with it and I do what I think I must, waking up to the day and sleeping through the night. Dusk is the hardest part for me, Night falls, yes, it's not kidding, it's not subtle, I turn around and everything is black, yet the sunrise creeps slowly....or so it seems, and is anything what it seems? Hay que aceptar todo como es. Me encanta el verano con sus días largos, pero tengo que aceptar el otoño con sus días cortitos y sus noches de repente, you cannot linger this time of year, savor the day while it is here, enjoy its quick afternoon light and let it soothe you while it can, for the night will envelope you with its oscuridad total and it will be earlier than you think, but still you must fill your time before going to bed.

Have you ever awakened at two or three o'clock in the morning and looked out at the stars? They are three times brighter than normal and the sky looks magical. Parece un sueño y son diamantes suspendidos en el cielo oscuro. Is it my imagination? Todos aquellos soles iluminando otros planetas girando en nuestro universo, o a lo mejor son las joyas de las diosas del cielo, los destellos, the way the ancient peoples thought about the heavens. Who knows? Does it matter really? Para mí, me da lo mismo.

So I dance in the morning and meditate at night and the earth carries me and keeps me circling in its whirling, swirling patterns.

Soy Lorena
11/30/06

A reprint of the last half

Unfortunately, there was a problem with the size of the font and I could not figure out how to get the font to enlarge...so I am reprinting the last half of today's blog.

Thank you for the people in my life who share with me their thoughts and dreams, thank you for my feelings, my hopes, my curiosity and my optimism, gracias por mi casa que me da amparo, gracias por mi ropa que me cubre and me protege del frío, gracias por la comida que me alimenta. Thank you for vegetables and salads and fruit and chocolate, thank you for water, for tea and coffee so satisfying at the right moment, gracias por la música que me sosiega, thank you for my piano that takes me to another level of existence with her beautiful singing voice, thank you for the earth that supports me and never lets me down, gracias por las cartas que me llegan de los países lejanos, thank you for parents and children and grandchildren and cousins and lovers and dreams and fantasies...and for all the abundance in the Universe which is infinite.
GRACIAS, GRACIAS, GRACIAS, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

Gracias (exclamation point)

Gracias por el sol aunque no lo veo hoy, gracias por la luna, aunque está escondida, gracias por el aire fresco que respiro en la mañana, thank you for the sky, the clouds, the trees that smile upon me with bare branches, gracias por mis pies que corren por el laberinto, gracias por mis músculos tan fuertes que me llevan dónde quiero ir, thank you for my beating heart that sends its energy throughout my body, thank you for the colors of the earth, the varied shades of green, los rojos y azules, las hojas anaranjadas ya acabadas, thank you for the beauty my eyes receive when I look upon you, earth, gracias por el arroyo que corre con una urgencia de llegar lejos...lejos...lejos.

Thank you for the people in my life who share with me their thoughts and dreams, thank you for my feelings, my hopes, my curiosity and my optimism, gracias por mi casa que me da amparo, gracias por mi ropa que me cubre y me protege del frío, gracias por la comida que me alimenta, thank you for vegetables and salads and fruit and chocolate, thank you for water, for tea and for coffee so satisfying at the right moment, gracias por la música que me sosiega, thank you for my piano that takes me to another level of existence with her beautiful singing voice, thank you for the earth that supports me and never lets me down, gracias por las cartas que me llegan de los países lejanos, thank you for parents and children and grandchildren and cousins and lovers and dreams and fantasies.....and for all the abundance in the Universe which is infinite. GRACIAS, GRACIAS, GRACIAS, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

Did I leave out anything? I'm sure there's more.....what are you grateful for?

Soy Lorena
11/29/06

Luna, luna...where are you?

The new moon showed itself a few days ago, bulging with life and brilliance, but now the cloud cover is thick and I miss her, mi luna tan bella que me trae amor y recuerdos. Here is the full moon in San Miguel de Allende, this past summer, when we celebrated her arrival. Parece tan lejos, la luna, pero aquí está dentro de nosotros. Hard to believe she is inside each one of us. Close your eyes and you can feel her soft reflection soothing our hurts. The moon is moody as some people can attest because of their sensitivity to her changes. Para mí, la luna es puro amor y compasión. Te saludo, luna, te mando mi cariño y muchos besos y abrazos aunque no te vea hoy.....siempre te recuerdo.....siempre.

La luna en la Argentina está de cabeza. Sí, es cierto. Imagine that. So it's true that the southern hemisphere is upside down. I have it on good authority, only the catch is, the people who live there think we are upside down, but they see the moon's face the other way around. Who is right? It's a matter of point of view, punto de vista, depende de dónde la miras. It's a metaphor for opinions, perceptions, thoughts, ideas. Everything depends on your point of view. Entonces, nada es ni bueno ni malo, solamente depende de tu punto de vista. Are we right because we live in the northern hemisphere? Are they wrong because they live in the southern hemisphere? How silly. Qué ridículo. Tu puedes creer lo que quieras y no me hace daño a mí, ¿verdad que sí? Son tus acciones que cuentan, no tus creencias. ¿Qué opinas tú? Vamos a empezar un diálogo un día de estos.

I was thinking yesterday how everything seems to go in a circle...we wake up, start our day, we work, we run around, it gets dark, we go to sleep and the day begins again, the earth spinning and circling around the sun, the solar system spinning and moving through space. ¿Por eso estoy mareada? Todo se repite, everything is repeated, the day, the night, the seasons, and though we do the same things over and over, nothing is exactly the same. Todo cambia...ah, hay una canción sobre este tema. Qué maravilla de mundo es este. ¿Cómo puede uno abrurrirse? Imposible.

It all comes back to experiencing the moment, to being present, here and now. It is the same and it is not the same.

Enjoy your moments for they are unique.

Tus momentos son singulares.

Soy Lorena
11/28/06

Dos Mujeres en Praga

"Estamos condenados, en efecto, a tropezar con aquello de lo que huimos." Dos Mujeres en Praga, por Juan José Millás.

I'm reading this book now in Spanish, it's a strange story but very compelling. Why is this quote so true? Think about it, what you focus on is what you get. If you dwell on your fears, then they come to you because in a way you are calling them. Prefiero creer en la magia que existe cuando pienso en cosas buenas...como estas piedras, las junté, las arreglé pero no tenían forma bonita hasta que encontré las últimas dos piedras. La piedra más alta no estaba cerca, la había encontrado lejos en la entrada de la casa. Me llamó esta piedra y la recogí y la llevé cerca del jardín sin saber lo que iba a hacer con ella. Se quedó unos días esperándome creo, y cuando construía esta escultura tratando de hacer algo interesante, puse la penúltima piedra y en seguida supe que la piedra que había llevado unos días antes quería estar allá. And look how beautiful this rock sculpture is, how magical, how harmonious. For me this is a kind of meditation, Nature's beauty, I can just sit and stare at it and become peaceful and complete. I love its shapes, its lights and shadows, its majesty. Mírame, dice. Soy bella.

So what about two women in Prague? What about me in Massachusetts? Or you in wherever you are? To contemplate beauty and peace will bring beauty and peace into your life. Just think what we could accomplish if we all did that. If you give love you will receive love. No, this is not corny, (o cursi) it's simply true. Even if you don't believe it.......try it and watch what happens.

Soy Lorena
11/26/06

Where does Time exist?

I keep reading here and there that we create time, that there is no time in the Universe, that it is an invention of Man, del Hombre, entonces, ¿Dónde, exactamente, existe el tiempo? ¿En mi cabeza? Sé que no sé dónde existe el ciberespacio. Prendo mi computadora y allí está. La apago y se va.......pero ¿adónde? Se me hace que el ciberespacio es infinito. I get the feeling that cyberspace is infinite, like the Universe. How does that happen?

Have you watched the sun as it is setting? If I don't notice it, the sun seems to be just hanging out there in the sky for a long time, but If I focus my attention on it, wow, it's moving and fast, too. Me encanta mirar la puesta del sol sobre el mar. I love the way it "sinks" into the ocean.

So, where is yesterday? Where is tomorrow? ¿Dónde está el Ahora? Se dice que nada más tenemos este momento. Be in the present moment......is it right here wherever you are? Is my present moment the same as your present moment? What about our opinions and experiences? How do they shape what we see and feel in each present moment? Se puede volver loco pensando en estas preguntas. A lo mejor no hay respuestas. Pero me doy cuenta que si me pongo a contemplar estas preguntas llego a saber un poco, bueno, un poquito más de mí y del Universo dónde vivo. Por lo menos dejo de pensar en tonterías, o en el pasado, o en cosas que no me sirven para nada. The Power of Now por Eckhart Tolle dice "Accept what is. The moment that judgment stops through acceptance of what is you are free of the mind."
Maybe Time exists only in the mind. If that's true, then there is a way to be free of it. At this point in time, I'm not sure how to do that......oh, well, maybe next time I'll figure it out. :)

I think Spanish is a little more exact when it comes to using the word "time." We say, "What time is it? they say "¿Qué hora es?" What's the hour? We say "time and time again." They say "Una y otra vez." "Lots of times.......muchas veces." But we agree on this: "I don't have time. No tengo tiempo." Pero, de verdad, ¿tenemos tiempo o no tenemos tiempo? Do we have Time or does Time have us? Are we merely slaves to Time? Why are we all rushing around these days when our parents' generation "took their time?" How did all these machines to help us live better and easier lives find us with less time to do the fun things we want to do? Well, that's another story for another day.

Have a good time with your day. Que lo pases bien.

Soy Lorena
11/25/06

La Amistad

La amistad es para mí algo muy importante porque soy hija única. No conozco lo que es tener hermanos, y aunque he tenido cuñados, no es lo mismo.

Friendship, when it is deep and caring can be the most wonderful thing because along with the friendship goes a kind of love, different from Romantic love or love for your children or parents even. Friendship is chosen, escogida y a veces no sabemos por qué brota la amistad con esta persona pero no con aquella.

Recently, I met in person a woman with whom I have been emailing for five years. She came to visit from a faraway place and because we had been writing for so long and kind of knew each other's position on a number of things, we knew we would get along...but I don't think we knew to what extent we would connect. La verdad, sentí que la conociera toda la vida. We just clicked. We had the best time together, we chatted, we laughed, we ran around the city seeing everything as if for the first time. It was hard to say good-by, but I know that now I have a friend for life.

Sometimes a friend's words can do so much. Me llegaron unas palabras lindas de otro amigo hace poco y me inspiraron tanto sus palabras que compuse una canción con ellas. Me tocaron sus palabras profundamente, me hicieron llorar y me hicieron dar las gracias por esta amistad tan bella en mi vida.

So, yes, well, gratitude is one thing I'm feeling a lot of these days, gratitude for these friendships, gratitude for this life, gratitude for my children and all of the abundance that the Universe has given me....and especially GRATITUDE for my parents....finally, por fin.

Isn't it appropriate this time of year when tomorrow is THANKSGIVING?

I wish everyone good friendships and may Gratitude be with you always.

Soy Lorena
11/22/06